50 Hilariously heartfelt Valentine's Day jokes
Share these hilarious puns and funny one-liners with the people you love most.
Valentine’s Day usually means there's some serious romance in the air. Heartfelt declarations of love, thoughtful gifts, expensive dinners…if that’s not usually your style, it can all feel a bit dramatic. Instead, if you or your love are a connoisseur of dad jokes or corny puns, your love language might be something a bit sillier. These adorable Valentine’s Day jokes are a funny but super sweet way to celebrate love without being quite so serious! They make a great message for Valentine’s Day cards to friends and family members, or can even be used as quirky Valentine’s Day captions for social media. Slip these hilariously heartfelt jokes in a kid’s lunchbox or text them to a friend for a smile and eye roll that lets them know you love them.
How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?
If it's love at first bite.
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Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, they had an apple.
What did the man say to his banker on February 14?
“You’ve caught my interest.”
Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He’ll dessert you.
What did the gardener say to their date?
"I dig you."
What did the cucumber say to the pickle?
"You mean a great dill to me."
What did one plate say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“Tonight, dinner’s on me.”
What did one triangle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re acute.”
Why are my feet cold on Valentine’s Day?
Because you knocked my socks off.
Are you the internet?
Because I’m feeling a connection.
When should you ask someone out on a coffee date?
When you like them a latte.
What did the closet say to the light bulb?
"You light up my world."
How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine's Day?
You locket.
What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?
"I have a crutch on you."
Did you hear about the two radios that got married?
The reception was amazing.
Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend?
He was a real keeper.
What did one oar tell the other oar?
"This is so row-mantic!"
What did the car say to the tire?
"Wheel you be my valentine?"
What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day?
"I turt-ally love you."
What do you tell a pig on February 14?
"Happy Valen-swine's Day!"
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